Archive | February 2019

Sneaky

I’m wary of love.
Sneaky.
Always hiding around corners
patient, patient
Always feeling so, so,
you know…

Deep.

I’m not quite sure of this life stuff.
you know what I mean?
It’s just suffering at the heart
All in between.

I shamed my son today,
like an arrow to my chest
I didn’t even know
I was so caught up
in the best.
It’s the worse thing I’ve ever done
And still I fear I won’t atone,
this is the darkness,
This is alone.

And in usual I would befall,
To months and years of terror
where shame and pride
they mock me
so completely with out error.

But nigh,
this night upon me,
Where the winds have buffed the clouds
And the Mountains reach above
And the moon, she shines aloud.
Not this night, around me
it won’t be that way tonight
Because, my son
the son of myself
I’ve not yet begun to fight
But only just now,
I recognized
The bright and shining light
That is bigger than all you think
and imagine
but it’s dark as night!

Or through the dark,
I should rightly say
From the dusking to the the light
when pink sunlight kissed the mount
on a bright and shining morn,
There was a freshness to the day
at the same time,
Time to mourn.

Time to mourn
Is vital. It’s the only thing that’s real,
Or at least that you can be sure of,
that and how you heal.
because despite all that you don’t believe
and all you say you do
and between all the bullshit printed
in ink and in your brain
It’s a wonder, no a certainty
that you’ll go insane.

And that’s just what has happened,
And that’s just what we’ll do,
If people don’t start waking up
And seeing what to do.
And some are there but most are not
and none have any clue.

But what’s that matter,
when you’ve shamed your son,
and killed a part of you?

No!

I said NO!

And the whole world changed

Like a blind opening (or closing)

My life and all is vision

Flickered down, in unison

One layer after the next

The truth revealing itself

Not as beautiful

But real, and exactly me…

There was still darkness

It’s not a fantasy, this life,

It’s a dirty, messy, twisted ride.

And now I have control of it.

Because I said NO!

Just Far Enough

The tangle and bareness

White and brown and dark green and black

Wind through branches is different

Than wind through leaves

And the winter invites me to her silence.

Clean and bright, a fresh start

A fresh wind to dry out

The moisture of suffering

And relationship to culture

Chicadee and Sparrow

Sparsely invite

Songs brief and pure snow beautiful

And harsh wood chopping welcome

The woods in the winter,

Go just far enough

To forget where you’ve been.

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