Archive | August 2019

One Real Thing

Like pieces on a board

I move things around

Like furniture in a room

Rearranging, discarding

King me.

Castle.

I move things around

Add things, take things away

But I am the mover, not the things

I move.

I am the mover,

Not the things I move.

And there is nothing more to be done

On the game board,

In the room with the furniture

I’m just rearranging the look

Of the room.

I don’t need to do that anymore

Because I want more

Than to win the game

Than to have a rearranged room

I want more than to have a bigger room

I am the mover

I am the increaser

I am the one wins

There is nothing more to do

But to discover the mover

The one who rearranges

The one who wins

The one who moves

There is only one vitality

And it is waiting to be discovered.

There is only one vitality

And it is not found on the game board

Or in the room, full of furniture.

There is only one good thing left

Because there is only one real thing left

More real than anything you have ever experienced

More real than the board

More real than the room

and all the furniture.

I am the mover.

I am the mover.

There is one real thing left.

The only thing.

The only thing.

I am the mover.

Your Offering

There’s no way out

And there are two ways to process that fact,

With terror

Or

Joy

They only thing that is clear is that we don’t know.

What amazing depth of absurdity made real.

You really must laugh.

To only know that you don’t know.

The only answer is the question.

In a world built for and by those who reject the eternal internal.

It’s like we’re living on a vast frozen lake

The thin sheet, our only understanding, the ground.

Unexplored depths lie beneath

Magic lies beneath

And peace

But it doesn’t lie in the water as much as it lies in the awareness of the thin sheet and what it covers.

Baby steps.

Why trust these words?

Do you feel them?

Do you feel these words?

Do they speak to, illuminate

The secrets underneath you

Below your thin sheet.

Have you embraced your death?

Have you glimpsed the limitations of your mind

Have you seen the limitations of man’s mind made real in the world?

I know what it is to be hungry for more, for the sake of more.

You only have one gift to give and it is eternal and not dependent.

It is your offering

And it’s your sole purpose to discover and to give it.

And that, my loves, is everything.

Answers

If you think, don’t fight.

If you think and fight you’ll have a miserable time of life.

There’s nothing to save you

And that’s the only answer that matters.

Distraction

I’m a Rilkean as far as I can tell,

I believe the greatest purpose

of relationship

Is to support the inner experience

Of the other

To foster and provide silence

And to hold that silence

And find your own peace

In the fostering

And celebrate the discoveries

And do not gloss over the failed

The failed are discoveries

And support the freedom

From culture and society and roles and rules

And provide the strength of your wisdom to support the inner journey.

Don’t be a distraction to yourself.

please…

Ours

I get to write

If I don’t feel bad about it

It’s very enjoyable

And sit on a moss banked river

Canopied green

Scraped by ever flowing

Water falling down mountains

It’s ours, it’s no one else’s

No one else has a choice

It’s ours.

Life

My fantasies are my best friends,

Familiar and supportive

But with no substance,

-Not the friends-

the relationships.

But without them, it’s fine,

although when they come it’s generally a party.

Everything is transient.

Except for this moment.

My Heart is Crying

I didn’t know.

I’ve been too busy.

I want to hold my heart and give it comfort
I want to be silent and close and touching
and breath together through the world

that’s all I want.

But there’s so much to do.
So many things to do.
So much that needs to be done.

I will put my crying heart aside
and will become a good teacher
for putting aside a crying heart.

Oh dear…
it’s not very good…
not very good at all…

Not good.
Not very good at all.

Always. Forever. Now.

What I see is not with my eyes,
it’s with my heart
it’s a fuller vision
not so linear
it’s five dimensional
it rests, like the earth under my feet
supporting my every step
but never wanting recognition.

This is a great plain, a field
it’s the earth that supports our every step
but never wants anything.

Yet imagine if we didn’t have the earth
what would we walk upon
and rest upon
and set our lives to make decisions.
If there was no earth
there would be nothing to keep us
to life, nothing to leave, nothing to come back to
no point of which to start.

If there was no earth.

This is like the great plain
that we see with our heart
but not our eyes.

This great plain of the heart
Is like the earth.
It exists as a sacred plain
It exists as a sacred dancefloor
It exists as the field from which all grows.

Think of our lives as antelopes and lions and ants
We walk on the sacred plain
we fight and eat and die and birth
on the sacred plain.

Think of our lives as dancing people
we spin and twist and turn and jump and fall and rise
on the sacred dancefloor.

Think of our lives as sprigs of wheat
we twist and bend and blow and are trampled and harvested
on the sacred field.

This is not the earth, that we see with our eyes,
as real as anything
as foundational as anything.

This is the field of eternity that we see with our heart,
it is as important
as real
as foundational
as anything

It exists and directs our lives with or without our knowledge
but unlike the earth
this cannot be polluted because it comes before us
always and continuously
this plain comes, continuously and infinitely before us,
It is the birthplace and eternity
and it is expressed through you
not by you, as the earth.

The field of eternity exists,
we kill, we birth, we dance, we bend and we are harvested
on this field at all times
and whether we do any of it
or none of it
nothing changes
the field stays the same
always the same
and always below us
and always our mother
and always available
and always simple
and always peace
and always wonder.

Always.
Forever.
Now.

At Play In The Field Of Eternity

At play in the field of eternity,
I joust and pout and rage and kill
I find jewels and garbage
they are the same.
All of this life happens on top of a quilt
a fabric of eternity,
the structure of our experience
the paradox of human existence
and the concept
that holds the answers
that are not relevent.

Constant play is taking place
constant flux
give and take
mix and remix
becoming into another
and back to another
and into another
like motor oil on water
the concept is the image of the oil
always morphing, changing
never still
sitting on top of the fabric of the water,
never combining with the water
always separate
Like light and dark
like heat and the absence of heat
like male and female
never mixed
even the anomolies are separate
different and impermeable
because there is nothing to permeate.

This is the structure of eternity
on which we live our lives.

And just imagine
if you could connect with the fabric
that is your eternity,
on which you live every emotion
every joy and conflict
every material and thought and feeling,
lived on top of the structure.

And just imagine
the relief and wonder
of coming back to your eternity
of seeing the structure as different
and completely separate
from your created life.

You are not your anger.
You are not your fear.
You are not your joy.
You are not your love.
You are not your hate.
You are not your oppression.
You are not your kindness.
You are not your religion.
You are not your desires.
You are not your results.
You are not your certainty.
You are not your thoughts.
You are not your emotions.
You are not your feelings.

You are the end, and constantly evolving experience of this human life.
Of life itself.

You are the product.
You are the expression.
You are all of life.
You are god.

I want to coach

I don’t want to love, though
I don’t want to comfort
and make safe
I don’t want to touch
I don’t want to get too close
I’m perfectly content to walk through it all
at arms length.

I want to coach.
I want to help people do the things they want, better.
That’s how I want to relate.
That’s how I best relate.

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