An American Father

And rushing through the needles
crowded on the branch
high above the snowy field
the windy music danced
and danced to me the irony
of life and living free
I’m here to be a father
but what’s a father to me?

03.19.20 Rad Dance Party

We’ve decided, Jake and I, that we want to have a RAD DANCE party at night. Like seriously night, like so much night, it’s morning!! So if you’re looking to have some fun, break some rules and just generally let loose come tune in and share with us.

Check out a hit from our Rad Dance Party and tune into FB to see what’s next!

3.13.21 Bad, Bad Creatures

The title was going to be:
“The Empty Courage Of The Young And The Staggering Cowardice Of Their Parents”

Harsh.
So be it.

I pay attention to the din and noise of the world. I like it, generally. It’s like anything…if taken in moderation it’s healthy, if taken in gluttoney it will destroy you. I’m most likely on the gluttonous side and so I need to offload some of the calories of the “narrative” the social media swamp…and I’m going to do it here.

I love Mumford and Son’s. I mean really love. One of my favorite bands of the last 10 years for sure. Mostly for their passionate playing and deep lyrics.

And now I’m wondering if I was fooled, just like everyone else, including them. After reading their fiasco with their band mate Winston and how, because he liked a certain book, he was given the cold shoulder by the band, given a good ole English scolding…is that what they are…English? Whatevs…the point is they’re young and they have no clue. The point is they’re young and they don’t have a clue.

That’s the point and it’s similar for every “Young Person” I know. At first glance…aren’t we impressed by their well spoken vocabulary, by their grasp of philosophy, by their intimate knowledge of their feelings and the feelings of other, by their empathy and sympathy and ability to really see people.

It’s both bullshit and not.

First the bullshit. They’re too young to know shit about shit. They haven’t been through anything (in general) where they would have an opportunity to actually build wisdom through pain. Wisdom take a long time and there is no replacing it and no short cut. Knowledge is fast and as easy as parroting or memorizing and there’s no reason why the “younger generation” shouldn’t be full, chock full, of knowledge. They are Google’s kids, they have access to the brain of the universe, why wouldn’t they be overflowing with beautiful and profound knowledge.

Just like a browser.

Just like a browser.

That’s why Mumford and Son’s are such a good example. They’re kids. Of course they know the words to say. The words are obvious for even the most basic.

“Love your ground”

It’s Englightenment for Dummies, from the mouths of babes. Perfectly parroted and to make it worse, because it’s true, when someone with a little life experience and a little pain turned wisdom hears the words spoken and paired with melody and passion, we relate. We feel it, we know, to some extent, what it takes to “Love your ground”. Not that we’re some how arrived, but we are more familiar with the method under the melody. And our failing, our great failing (and this is not the same as the cowardice of the parents) is that we put it back on them, the kids, back on Mumford and Sons, as if they truly are enlightened, as if they’ve found the answers.

The irony is they HAVE found the answers and they don’t matter.
Not like we thought they did. Every time we buy the “answers” from the younger generation we do them and humanity in general, a great diservice. And it’s been a bull market on bullshit, baby, a bull market!

So what’s the positive side of this for the youngsters…never mind, there is none. I was going to say that it’s good that at least they know the answers but I checked myself and that’s BS too, in fact it’s probably more harmful to them knowing all the wisdom of the world without having a clue about how to achieve it and living a life so emmersed in comfort that even scratching the surface of knowing what it would take to “Love your ground” is, in today’s terms a violent micro aggression. Like, how dare you tell me the truth to wisdom…I would rather paint by numbers.

So that’s not good.
So be it.

What’s even worse and sorry for the debbie downer, (if you’re tough and resilient enough you will be able to take in the words, parse them for yourself, measure them, feel them, run your process and realize that no matter what I say, you’re ok) is the parents of these young kids. And when I say “Young” I mean 35 and younger…basically.

The parents know. You know. You may have convinced yourself that your kid is wise and that they words they speak have pain and loss to temper them and give them weight, but really check yourself. How hard has your kids life been? And even if it’s been hard, like American hard, like Western World hard, it’s still not been enough. Pain on a young heart and a young mind needs time, only time, to develop, to change, to blossom to wisdom. There is no short cut and thus there is no escape. Your kid, any kid, is not wise. They might be correct. They might know a lot. They might have the right answer but the answer doesn’t matter because the only answer is, they are not wise and therefor we should be MUCH more careful about following what they say.

Of course we are not careful. We have given up completely on any discretion or responsability in weighing the words of the young in our own decision making process and the “powers that be” (whoever they are) are loving the direction, loving the canonization of the children, loving that there is no seeming defense against their innocent wisdom, so pure and good.

Here’s the defense…Wisdom is not born of innocence, and for every parent who has given up their own internal knowing of this and given over to believing the children or, worse, holding the children up as the savior and solution of the problems we have created is a bad, bad creature.

Now don’t flip out. We’re all bad, bad creatures in some ways but for fucks sake, it’s time to look. It’s time to stop being such bad creatures. It’s time to be the adults, it’s time to stop putting our shit onto the kids, we’re ruining it all. And kids, you just need to be kids. That’s what you have to do, you should be taken care of, you should not have adult worries until you start to become an adult physically. This doesn’t bode well for the 30 somethings, the lost generation that has been completely abandoned by their parents and by society and is adrift in a great desert of ego, hopelessness and helplessness.

There are many many in this equation, but the most damaged is this generation. It’s not hopeless though. It’s not. It’s just going to bloom later for you, but that’s better than nothing. Let it bloom later. How? Stop believing a single thing that anyone older says to you, unless it’s hard to do. If someone older than you is telling you something that bothers you or is hard to do, you can believe them. Otherwise it’s bullshit and it’s killing you, so stop it.

Back to you parents. Parents. Are you one of these parents? Are you one of these parents who thinks their kids are wise? Who thinks your kids have anything to offer besides parroted wisdom? Do you actually think they are special? Let me let you in on a hard truth…

You’re seeing yourself and no one else. Only yourself. And your suffocating your child.

Bad Bad Creatures.

Written with Dolores O’Riordan and The Cranberries

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