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Trouble Time

I think it’s time to get into some trouble.

I’ve been writing since I was, what…12 or so…maybe 11.
I’m sometimes good at it
Mostly indulgent
With brief sparks of clarityand beauty (I think).

I started and written many blogs in my life
Hundreds of posts
poetry
prose
and diarrhea (sorry about that)

I started a blog called “Lynch”
the day after Trump was elected
The first poem was called”Rooting for Trump”.

It was my outlet for processing the world.
I love social media for what it makes possible
I hate social media for what it makes possible
I work to stay on the “love” side

The more I face the violence
and apathy in myself
the more I find the necessity for art
because art transcends externalities
and has the potential to touch souls
and now, more than ever,
touching souls is what I think we need,
It’s what I need.

There is so much that has been unsaid
There is so much that has been left unsaid
As a male as a man as a boy
I am conditioned to heroic stoicism
but worse
I benefit from my silence
Not a real benefit
But the perception of safety
The perception of acceptance
My benefit is only a perception
and is not real
In fact, if I am a good person,which I realize I am,
the reality is my silence
has created the world
And I think the world needs to change
so I think trying a different approach might be good.

As the GREAT Peter Tosh sings
“I don’t want no peace, I want
equal rights and justice”.

Before anything and anyone
My son and all those I love
I want justice for myself
my internal self
and without speaking
with curiosity
convictionand experience
I can never know my internal self
and if I can not know my Internal self
I cannot have justice for myself
and if I cannot have justice for myself
I can never attempt to offer justice to the world.
There is so much to say
So much to express
so much pain
so much love
and much fear
and much hate

So with the intent to pierce hate
with Love
and to temper fear with Character
I will be releasing “LYNCH”
to the world
I hope you’re affected
In a way that touches
your soul.

The Machinery of Hate, Pt 1

You don’t have to stop calling it Racism. Racism exists and it’s not good and it would be good and it is important to prioritize, especially, State Sponsored racism, for example the criminalization of society which affects poor people of which black people are disproportionally represented. We need to decriminalize living and we need to do it now and we need immediately release anyone who the State has put in prison because they were made a criminal by society, non-violent drug offenders come right to mind. This is where I have failed, where I have been complicit, where I have been afraid to speak out, where I have been apathetic and maintained the attitude that if it’s not happening to me, it doesn’t matter. I’m ashamed of this behavior and this moment in time has woken me up to my complacency and the injustice it’s helped foster. As a white skinned brother I say we need to do more to address the injustices that our black skinned brothers and sisters are bringing up and we need to do it now.

But there is a larger villain than racism. There’s an issue that’s so fundamental and so ingrained that it hides in plain site even as it spreads. This villain is so old and wise and thorough that it has convinced many of us it doesn’t exist, even as we demonstrate it. This villain is so crafty that it is able to attack cloaked as it’s opposite. This villain is so deadly that it has us teaching our own children how to embrace it. This villain is so prevalent that it has entire systems of machinery that help do it’s work.

This villain is Hate.

Racism as we see it today can not exist without Hate but Hate can surely exist without Racism. Hate is internally sown and infects everything that comes through it’s filter. Hate flavors everything. Racism is externally focused and can be called many things, all of them basically meaning hatred of another person for the differences you see in them. A loving person will not be a racist person and that’s a heavy sentence to put out there, but it’s true.

A loving person will not be a racist person (in the way we understand Racism today). That doesn’t mean that we must all be loving in order to have Justice (but it might) but it does mean that there is only one cure for Racism, there is only one cure for injustice, but it’s a real cure, it’s a final cure, it’s the ultimate cure, it’s the cure for Hate which is the cause of racism. It’s Love.

When I look at the Machinery of Hate, it’s so complete. It’s literally like in all the movies ever made. It’s Mordor, it’s The Dark Side, it’s the Kracken, it’s the Devil. If you haven’t read Joseph Campbell, and you’re concerned about this struggle, you MUST read or listen to his series with Bill Moyers, “The Power of Myth” because he talks about the Heroes Journey and he talks about the fact that none of this, none of what we face today is new, it’s been with us for all time and the “Labyrinth is fully known” because it’s been traveled by the heroes that have come before.

The Machinery of Hate is too subtle and sublime to dismantle as you would a bomb or a prison or a political system or even a society. You could dismantle all of these things and you will not touch the Machinery of Hate, the machine will chug on because it doesn’t exist outside yourself. For a terrifying example of the Machinery of Hate – watch the last scene in “Devil’s Advocate” with Keannau Reeves and Al Pacino. This is the Machinery of Hate. I am no God fearing person, I’m not religious in the popular sense but the analogy is powerful and the task is daunting. In fact the task is so daunting that it’s much preferable to call the problem something else, like Racism, because then we have a villain that is outside ourselves and who doesn’t love a villain outside themselves. This is such a problem because in the process of trying to achieve Justice today, people are using Hate. It doesn’t matter what side you’re on in the fight because you’re not on the side you say you’re on. You’re on the side you act like you’re on. And if you act from Hate or with Hate, you are on that side, with all the others on that side.

The Machinery of Hate. This is what killed George Floyd. And if you want Justice you have to call it by it’s name.

I Don’t Think You Have What It Takes.

Why would you think it could be different
why the outrage
silly geese
did you think
the bombs that have been raining
for lifetimes
would be forgotten
did you think educational prisons
would be forgotten
did you think, as you played games
on your phone
what your phone cost the world
and who had to pay that cost
did you think as you ate your meals
in your homes
with your electricity
and your recliner
and your refrigeration
and your internet
and your TVs
and your long, luxurious showers…

Did you think about justice
as you’ve been luxuriating?

Do you remember the boy,
face down,
dead.

Do you remember the
dead boy on the beach?
Did you have lunch that day?
Did you go to work that day?
Did you yell at your kid that day?
Did you take a nap that day?
Did you worry about bills that day?
Did you make dinner that day?
Did you talk with friends that day?

Do you remember the dead boy on the beach?

What did you do that day?

Do you remember the naked girl
running and burned and screaming
mouth open
terror
death
raging all around her
she ran naked
towards nothing
away from everything.

If you were alive for that
what did you do when you saw that picture?
Did you go back to schoool?
Did you go out to dinner?
Did you cry,
and then have sex?
Did you take a shower?
Did you read the paper
and agree?

I do not think you are a justice lover.
I think you are a coward
dressed in your caring best
and you don’t even know it.

But you could know it
you could know it
if you really cared about justice
if you really wanted to take the next step

The knowing of your own cowardice
is possible
and the knowing is wisdom
and the way is character
not righteousness.

Stand up for Justice?
I do not think
you have what it takes.

Believe? Humans #1

It doesn’t work
because i’ve seen it before.
i’ve seen in
where have I seen it
where have I seen it…

It’s in me.
It’s all in me.

I’ve seen this violence before
i’ve seen the lying
i’ve seen the fraud
i’ve seen the despair
i’ve seen the slavery
i’ve seen the hatred
i’ve even seen murder

i’ve seen it all
in me.

I’ve explained it
I’ve explained it
I’ve justified
I’ve spoken words
upon words upon words
I’ve said

“I will never do this again”
and made myself a liar the day after
with the injuries to self
and others still fresh
with blood still running.

How can you believe the words of humans

How can you believe the word of any human?

When what is being shouted
is not human
but imagination
desire
want
when what is being shouted
is mist

are you going to build the new world
on mist
again.

I have seen all of this before
and I will see it again.

Are you going to build the new world
on the mist of desperate children
that don’t know what to do?

Or do you have a better idea?

There is an Answer

What do you do with your pain?

Some make laws
others dance in the rain
some cry and tuck away
allowing the day
to go by
some sing with such pain
the music drips
and soaks your soul
some yell
and some hit
some murder
some plan
some fight
some forget
some work harder
some stand

You know you have pain…don’t you?
you know it’s there, right
underneath and down deep
underneath your habits
underneath your hate
underneath your rules
underneath your god
underneath your temper
underneath the sod
of your life
that’s grown green grass
and killed the wild flowers
that’s kept you at it
for hours and hours
and hours and hours
that’s kept you at the
grind and work
that’s kept you locked
face first in the dirt

My god.

The answers are not outside us.
The answers are not outside us.
The answers are not outside us.
The answers are not outside us.
The answers are not outside us.
The answers are not outside us.

My god.

The answers are not outside us.

The Vermont Game

Are you happy with your life? Have you asked yourself this question? Do you dare ask? I didn’t start asking myself this question until I was about 48. Really daring myself to look, past all my stereotypes and habits, underneath my fully conditioned pride and way beyond what anyone else wanted me to see.

And now that I’m done asking, I’m listening. Listening to myself, daring to listen because there are answers deep below that are not extinct, just buried. And now that the hamsterwheel has stopped and I’ve gotten my footing, I feel like I never want to go back. It’s just a feeling. It’s not based in any logic but it’s also not based in any fear. It’s just how I feel and I’m paying attention to it.

So enough of the philosophizing, for now, anyway. Well, one more thing…don’t let the non-storytellers tell you how to tell your stories. Your stories, for some, are all you have and they matter and if you pretend you’re not a good story teller, but you are or want to be, you’re selling yourself way short. Tell your stories everyone, tell your stories.

I have a story for you, actually it’s more of a game

It’s a game about an experiment. It’s actually a play along…it requires crowd participation, like one of those murder mystery dinners or escape room escapades. You all think you know better, to some extent, than, say, Governor Scott about how to run the State of Vermont, right? Don’t lie. If you’ve ever complained once about State Government or Federal Government, you think you can do it better.

Ok here’s the story.

You are the leader of Vermont – whatever that means for you. You have control of the purse strings, you get to dictate where things are spent, how they’re spent, who spends them and so on. You have to hire people to get the job done, you can’t do it all yourself but you have free reign to hire anyone you want, as long as it’s legal in the current system.

Now this isn’t about really getting into the nitty gritty, it’s more of a feel thing, it’s more of a yes or no question with some possible developments for some of you that want to go further.

So we need to give you a budget and you need to think about what you imagine the biggest challenges are in Vermont. What needs help, what’s good, in your opinion only…visualize it, think about it as much as you can. What’s your top 5? Ok, got it?

Ok.

Your budget to get the people in the places you need to solve or address whatever you think are the most pressing issues…is…

$275,000,000
Two Hundred and Seventy-Five Million Dollars.

The question’s are:

1-Is this enough to address the problems you feel we need to address

2-Is this not enough

3-Is this too much

I have to know so please don’t keep me waiting. Play! – simple and then I’ll tell everyone who played the answers and you can see how you did!

Ok – have fun – thanks for reading.

Character

I noticed
the solid ground
because, despite my fear
I landed
rather than continuing to fall
nothing about my fear
changed
my discomfort was full
but I experience
these things
while planted on ground
standing, alone
firm.

And that makes all the difference.

Fear is not knowing
Solid ground is known
by your body
and so your mind
and spirit follow
and not knowing
while standing on your earth
is a different way.

I created that solid ground
by digging
digging, digging
and by wanting to be
better than my anger
stronger than my hate
and distrustful of my punishment.

I listened to my heart
when my heart said

Of course there’s more

I’m new at this
and hope, always, to be…

Of course there’s more
and it’s yours
when you’re ready

Poor Boys

Asking for help
is never an option
if you’re a mans
man

Asking for help
is always forgotten
if you’re a man
with a plan

Why would you ever
ask for help
when you know
you can do it
better yourself

Asking for help
is something to fear
people think you’re
a pussy and that’s
something to fear

If you’re a woman
or girl give it a twirl
there’ll be a man
who will come
and fix up your world

But if you’re a man
or a boy you figure it out
you don’t stop for a minute
to let out a shout
you keep your head down
and heart closed
and you pound away
anger and anger and anger
all day
and you process
and dress up
and diplomacize words
to make sure
you’re the best in the herd
and to make sure
you’re the one who is heard

Whatever you do
you don’t ask for help
you man up and instead
just kill yourself.

Poor boys.

The Chubby Humanitarian

I feel this feeling
starting low
as if from the depths
the hard bottom
of my soul

As if the bottom
is frightfully bad
a waiting nightmare
that, plus sad.

It feels like the end
the end is here
it feels like
there’s nothing
that I can hold dear
it feels like death
but I’ve never been there
it feels like horror
everywhere.

It’s an old friend
because I don’t have many
and this feelings been with me
through thin and plenty.
It was first
and it’s a hog
taking up all the room
stretching out on the log

Fucking feeling
you’ve been bad to me
fucking feeling
you make me sad
to me.

Leave me alone
would you please
so I can just
die in peace.

And then,
on a bird’s song
it changed
and the drums
and trumpets
blared,

The Chubby Humanitarian

Coming Home

When I was young,
I learned to hide
I was still myself
just deep inside
and building
my pearl on the outside
so as not to feel
through the
hard, shiney shell
and so I was protected
but it was hell
always being true
because there’s nothing
else to be
but never being whole
for fear of feeling me

And trust me when I say
Pearls are beauty
on display
and for that beauty
you can dearly pay
not for evil
or to betray
but with your joy
born from your play

So serious
So serious today
and those will tell you
it’s the only way
and everyone is carrying
a heavy day
and everyone will go away
and before you know it
your pearl is grey
but by that time
maybe you’ve lost your way
and instead of celebrating
your pearls decay
you fight to build
another way
with hard smooth edges
that keep away
any vibrations
that might touch your soul
the one you forgot
from young to old
the one that sits
patiently
and will sit forver
waiting for you
to turn
and softly
so softly
say hello
and sit down with it
and be alone
with your best friend
in your life long
home.

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