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I Am Love

The stirrings
liquid feelings
emotional tides
both reliable and harsh
always unforgiving.

I am like the day
full of sunshine
warmth and comfort

And the storm
and impending grey
and piercing cold

I am boredom
and fire
I am death
and confusion
I am all bad things

and

I am love.

Truth vs Good

If “truth” is not the same
as
“good”
the world is lost
and screaming at itself
that it is not.

That fits.

The Good Life

The machinery is all connected
but it’s not the same.
Life exists on different planes
but you remain.

The mystery is at the transition
the points where ideas become actions
become thoughts
become feelings
become ideas
become thoughts
become feelings
become actions.

The key to a good life
Is being willfully uncomfortable.

Neat Freaks

It’s messy.

It’s not like in the movies
in the fantastic entrails
of excitement
and achievement.

It’s messy.
And.
It’s not what you think.

That’s probably why it’s messy.
And.
It’s always messy.

That’s why neat freaks…
Freak me out.

What are those mother fuckers hiding?

The Monster

The girl shrieked
the cameras recoiled
and then
came forward
to eat.
No one had to look up
Because there was
no one left.
There was just…

Feeding.

And there was no way
to ever get back again.
Everything had been…

Consumed.

The mothers knew better
but the knowing was not
accessible to them.
They had sealed it
Cauterized
with the pain of mortality
and reality of chaos.

The fathers knew better
but most were afraid
of the mothers
and were not strong enough
to hold.

I don’t know if I am strong enough to hold.

The biggest monster
has been revealed
and he…

HE

is hungry.

The Myth

I can hear
the tiredness
and the pain.

It will always break my heart.

But what else is a heart for…

What will I do when it’s over
What will I do when there’s nothing left to fight against
What will I do when they win.

Will I join them?

A fate worse than death.

Will I join them?

They will welcome me into their maw
glistening, sharp
ferociously hungry
they will consume me
like all the rest.

And then, I will be joined to them
part of them
and I can consume, unheeded
I can roar through
the life
deafening all with my hunger
to cling
to the myth of my incapable
and violated
self.

Futility

Under seige
under water
but I hear that I deserve it

And so it fits
my guilt, it sits
Eager for the brunt of it

But there is a glimmer
brighter than before
but still small,
and fragile like a flower.

There is a world
and I feel assaulted
from all sides
and from those I love

I’ve been practicing
to find myself
since I learned
of my true fate

And I wish I could do better
in the face of all the hate
but I’m grateful that I see it
especially in me
I’m grateful,
though not free of it
it’s not how I want to be.

And my single minded focus
will make it lonely in the end
So I listen to the Dalai Lama
and become my own best friend.

I’m told that I’m controlling
I’m told I am the key
to other people’s freedom
I’m told that without me
Their life, they would be free.

And I see how I’m the teller
of all the tales and stories
How I’m the holder of the keys
and the definer of all glories
I see how I’m not different
than what I claim to hate
I see how without me changing
I’ve stamped and sealed my fate.



Smoke and Mirrors For You

I am the center of it all
like the earth
in stories of old,
you all revolve around me.

I do not care what has been proven
because what I know
is that
you
revolve
around
me

And so I will take my
righteous place
at the center
and point outwards
at the ills
shooting at them
like skeet.

Are you telling me
that you are right?
And what if I agree
and you no longer
have the resistance
to define yourself?

What then.

Have you killed
the ills
and settled your soul
and now can feel peace
and now are safe
and justified

No?

I take my place at the center
and point out at the world
sure
I am sure
that is my gift
to myself
I had pain
and I turned away
the truth came to my door
I’d be searching for so long
and there it was knocking
and I turned away
and went back to my anger
and because I turned my back
there was nothing left
but to stoke the anger
glimmers of hate
growing stronger
and blue green
I stoke
and point my fingers outward
from my central place
in the middle of all things
I am the king
you are a bother

And it’s ok to continue as you are.
It’s ok.

But if you want to show yourself
beyond the smoke
it’s possible,
you just have to want
to face the mirror.

Smoke and Mirrors

There is something coming.
There is always
something coming.

But I am light

And you are light

And what’s coming
is light

You cannot be afraid
of light and live.

This is the test of all time
the one every hero
every sage
every god
has faced
and come through.

We are not meant
for what we think.

What we think is shrouded
in fear
the darkness in front
of the mirror
the smoke

And we can’t see
our reflection
because of it.

Is your life
the smoke
or the mirror.

You Love To Hate

I can make you hate.
I mean…if that’s what you want
I mean…if you want to know
where the hate lives
and where it drives you.

Like you say you do.

I can make you hate
if it’s important for you to know
if you have work to do
and you understand
the nature of that work.

Like you say you do.

I can make you hate
but I don’t think you want to
you’d loose too much
if you gave up that
poisonous present.

Your own personal present.

It’s the one you love to hate
it’s where you draw the line
it’s where you’ve had enough
it’s where the lie you tell yourself
begins.

It’s what you love to hate.

It’s the thing that helps you feel strong
It’s the thing that helps you get along
It’s the thing that distracts from certain death
It’s the thing you mutter under your breath
The one thing you won’t let go.

You love to hate it, it’s what you know.

So go on and tell yourself another yarn
about how you’ve gone far enough
and even gone beyond
how you struggle and how you hurt
and how your love is at the start.

I’ll believe it, if you hate enough
you’ll have me thinking
that hate is love
as long as you’ve got your finger pointing out
and as long as there really is no doubt
and as long as what you’re pointing at
looks like a monster, then that’s that
and you’ve done the trick
the ultimate switch
Love to hate…

Turns out you’re the witch.

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