I Don’t Think You Have What It Takes.

Why would you think it could be different
why the outrage
silly geese
did you think
the bombs that have been raining
for lifetimes
would be forgotten
did you think educational prisons
would be forgotten
did you think, as you played games
on your phone
what your phone cost the world
and who had to pay that cost
did you think as you ate your meals
in your homes
with your electricity
and your recliner
and your refrigeration
and your internet
and your TVs
and your long, luxurious showers…

Did you think about justice
as you’ve been luxuriating?

Do you remember the boy,
face down,
dead.

Do you remember the
dead boy on the beach?
Did you have lunch that day?
Did you go to work that day?
Did you yell at your kid that day?
Did you take a nap that day?
Did you worry about bills that day?
Did you make dinner that day?
Did you talk with friends that day?

Do you remember the dead boy on the beach?

What did you do that day?

Do you remember the naked girl
running and burned and screaming
mouth open
terror
death
raging all around her
she ran naked
towards nothing
away from everything.

If you were alive for that
what did you do when you saw that picture?
Did you go back to schoool?
Did you go out to dinner?
Did you cry,
and then have sex?
Did you take a shower?
Did you read the paper
and agree?

I do not think you are a justice lover.
I think you are a coward
dressed in your caring best
and you don’t even know it.

But you could know it
you could know it
if you really cared about justice
if you really wanted to take the next step

The knowing of your own cowardice
is possible
and the knowing is wisdom
and the way is character
not righteousness.

Stand up for Justice?
I do not think
you have what it takes.

Parenting Tips in Three Parts

This is so funny
because it’s not funny at all
and that’s the root of all great humor!

We (and by “We” I mean humans)
are going to get what want.

Think.

You no longer
have to
survive.

At least no one
reading this
has to
survive.

Think.

How amazing…
we have come so far
as humans
as to not have to worry
about survival.

Every second
every minute
every hour
of human existence
until what…?
100 years ago?
200 years ago?

200 years ago
if you weren’t sowing fields
right now
you wouldn’t eat
and no one would care
beyond using your
situation to motivate
their family to survive
better than yours.

And now
we have created
the space to
think
feel
imagine
grow
explore.

We don’t have to survive
any more.

For now.

Part 2

There are no secrets
great men and woman
have come before
and pioneered
and laid pathways
to the heart and soul
they are clearly marked.

Furthermore, we have not even to risk the adventure alone; for the heroes of all time have gone before us; the labyrinth is thoroughly known; we have only to follow the thread of the hero-path. And where we had thought to find an abomination, we shall find a god; where we had thought to slay another, we shall slay ourselves; where we had thought to travel outward, we shall come to the center of our own existence; where we had thought to be alone, we shall be with all the world.

Joeseph Campbell

And yet
we turn back
we turn away
we refuse
we point out fingers
we explain
we implore
we demand
we kill
we force
we reject
we proclaim
we know
we shame

In this new world
in this new imagination
in this new potential
we turn
and run
like scared children
screaming
at the dark
when all that’s happened
is that the sun has gone down
and nature has
continued to turn her work.

Like children
we demand it
to be worse
than it is
we demand
that all is lost
we demand
that the pain
is eternal
and separate
from our nature
and from
our magnificence.

We demand
that our stunned
parents believe us
we demand
that all is lost.

We are behaving like
entitled children.

Part 3

What kind of parent
do you want to be?

Because it’s your choice.
You’re making it now.
You can change it.
But the longer you wait
the more pain there will be
and it is possible,
if you want to be the most loving parent
that you will be killed
by your children
and perhaps
then
they
will
see
themselves.

The pain of good parenting
is the hardest pain
the deepest pain
you must sacrifice
everything
and become yourself.

What have you sacrificed?

What Should I Do

I’m not strong enough to be silent.
I’m not strong enough to just do it.

Are you?

Are you strong enough to work hard at life
while life offers you the comfort of the righteous?

Are you strong enough to jump into the ring
when there are so many reasons not to?

I would like to ask you,

What is the answer?

Are you the one who knows?
Or do you know someone…
it should be easy enough to find,
the answer,
I just can’t find anyone right now.

I looked around a while back
and there were answers everywhere
everyone seemed to know
and I thought,

There must be something wrong with me.

A person who doesn’t have an answer

And so I’m asking you,
because I’m concerned for my son
and my family and life
and don’t want there to be more
dead children.

And you seem to know.

So…what do you think?

What should I do?

I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
I never knew.
I should have done more.
It’s not right.
I’m sorry.
You’re right.
I’m wrong.
I’m complicit.
I’ll do more.
I believe you.
I am the problem.
I’m sorry.

Said the man
Who would rather
feel guilty
than do what’s necessary
to make a wrong
right.

You must be complicit
It’s your fault
If you don’t see it you’re blind
If you don’t agree you’re not human
If you don’t agree you’re garbage
If you don’t see it, I hate you
If you don’t see it, I will force you
to see it
until your eyes bleed.

Said the man
with the long fingers
and cold heart
cowardly heart
long fingers
are good for pointing
and good for
directing attention
away from the terrified
8 year old
who’s been ignored
and treated badly

And now, tragically
and perfectly
it must happen like this.

It must happen until we learn
to look at ourselves
Before we apoloigize
and never apologize
before having warmed our
heart to our own weakness
and own insignificance.

Believe? Humans #1

It doesn’t work
because i’ve seen it before.
i’ve seen in
where have I seen it
where have I seen it…

It’s in me.
It’s all in me.

I’ve seen this violence before
i’ve seen the lying
i’ve seen the fraud
i’ve seen the despair
i’ve seen the slavery
i’ve seen the hatred
i’ve even seen murder

i’ve seen it all
in me.

I’ve explained it
I’ve explained it
I’ve justified
I’ve spoken words
upon words upon words
I’ve said

“I will never do this again”
and made myself a liar the day after
with the injuries to self
and others still fresh
with blood still running.

How can you believe the words of humans

How can you believe the word of any human?

When what is being shouted
is not human
but imagination
desire
want
when what is being shouted
is mist

are you going to build the new world
on mist
again.

I have seen all of this before
and I will see it again.

Are you going to build the new world
on the mist of desperate children
that don’t know what to do?

Or do you have a better idea?

I’m talking to you!

You want the same ole poem?
about heartbreak and vengence,
betrayal and death
of the white horse
and the peasants
You want the same ole poem?
about rage
and injustice
and murder
and violence
You want the same ole poem?
You want the same ole poem?

The poetry is in the fire
the poetry is in the fear
the poetry is in the deception
the poetry is in the greed
the poetry is in the gluttony
the poetry is in the blame

The poetry is in the fire
I declare:

Stop teaching the children to hate
stop teaching the children to fight
stop teaching the children to blame
stop teaching the children
how you love…

You’re love is not enough
you’re love is not good enough
you’re love is not love

Your love is not love

Your love is fear.
your love is desperation.
your love is dependence.
your love is coercion
your love is possession
your love is rage
your love is murder
your love is poverty
your love is malice

disguised as care.

You are confused.
And you have no hope left
and so you throw your children into the pit of despair which you have created, your eyes pinwheeling and spittle flying, you hoist their little bodies, the only chances you ever had to transform yourself, you hoist them into the pit and you don’t know it yet…you don’t know yet because they haven’t hit the bottom,

You do not know what you’re doing
you do not know what you’ve done
you do not know what to do

And so, instead…

You throw your children into the pit of despair you have created.

This Fire Better Let Me In

There’s a fire burning
and I am burned by it.

I turn and run
zig
zag
twist, duck turn.

I run.

As I run
my fear subsides
I check my wounds
I try to hide
my wounds are less
than I thought
they’d be
but that fire was raging
and it burned me.

Now I’m escaped
I move on through
The fires gone
from my purview
and I begin to forget
slowly at first
but forgetting gains speed
once your through
the worst.

And oh, I’m through it
am I ever
I find other things
to keep me clever
and I keep moving
but in my soul
I know that fire’s
still burning
with red hot coals.

But I’m not close
or so I say
and I’ve forgotten it
for another day.

And days go by
and months and
years
And my forgetting is
forged is sweat
and tears
and then like a full assault
one day I turn
and see my fault
and all of a sudden
I’m pitched back in
right back to where
the fire and I begin

And it’s still raging
and there’s no way to win
this fire
this fire

This fire better let me in!

The Purpose of the Heart

Maybe a gift…

To be shown
how you do not fit
and to see
you do not fit
and to feel
you do not fit
and to see,
finally,
how underneath
all of your
persuasion
and dancing
and performance
you, so badly,
want to fit.

The pain of it
is of a different quality
of a secret quality
a quality not spoken off,
kept in the dark places
kept at bay
by the performance
of trying to fit
and resenting the trying.

The ebb and flow of the ego
resenting that
which is not of itself
resenting that which
threatens
it’s facaded walls

The ebb and flow of the self
resenting the performance
resenting the denial
of the self
in disbelief.

How can you forgo your natural self
in the face of such primacy
of feeling.

In the face of such knowledge.

How is it,
in the face of such knowledge
and feeling of yourself
and your deepest secrets
you can still
perform
and so desperately
try to fit it
at the cost of everything.

I am so heartbroken of myself
so heartbroken.

But I am not lost.
No.

After all, as the wise woman says,
what else is a heart for?

Silly Goose

Life. The life we live today, we call it “normal”. We call it normal because we don’t know anything else. We call it normal because…why?

Why?

What we really mean, when we say “normal” is “recognized” or even better, “familiar”. Normal is more scientifically appropriate. Normal is a word to describe processes and to measure. When a human describes another human or a human situation as normal, it’s like using the zoom lense of life to focus the circle of experience that human can have.

What if the culture we’re living is sheer terror, sheer horror, sheer destruction – but not the terror, horror and destruction we’re shown on TV and in movies and video games. What if it’s the kind of destruction dressed up as love, and caring, and compassion and justice.

And what if we call that, “normal”.

What’s got me thinking about this is all the conspiracy talk in general, up and down the spectrum (and that’s what the conspiracy talk is, it’s a spectrum of the same experience, the different sides of the same coin. It’s basically like the frog halfway down the mouth of the crane, with it’s “hands” grasping the crane’s neck so it can’t swallow. These things are only different flavors of denial). Who gets to decide the base from which to make a judgement?

Who gets to decide the base from which to make a judgement and what are the things, specifically, that go into creating that base? Is it what’s “normal”? Is it God? I mean, what else could it be, if it’s not “normal” or God that is the foundation for creating a base from which to then make judgements on the world.

Silly fucking geese! Silly Silly Silly fucking geese.

I was one of these geese. In fact I’m probably still more goose than human…but I’m working on it.

I don’t want to be a Silly Goose for the rest of my life, and neither should you.

The Infinity Of Life

Flower and Iron
eye each other
across the room
their appreciation
and love for eachother

unknown

For now
a placeholder
disdain
and foreign
and admiration
of beauty
and function

But can a flower
admire
what it doesn’t understand

And can iron admire
what it doesn’t
know

Flower and Iron
across the room
in the service of
eachother
without knowing

Such is the underlying
infinity of life.

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