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The Boy is a Miracle

The boy is a miracle
which means you are a miracle
which means life is working
as it should
at least for you.

I love to see him attack the world
watching him learn about life
it’s months
it takes months, many
to see a difference
to see him go from
the kid who
-of course-
was sure
of his life
his decision
he simply hasn’t enough time in the light
to know any better
so he knows the best way
he knows how
and what a miracle to watch
the world open to him
as he opens himself
at the prompting of the world
sometimes prying
other times carressing
much of the difference
up to the father
what will I make it for him
what will I pry
what will I caress.

That boy is a miracle
and that means you are a miracle.

And what exactly do you do with a miracle
how do you handle a miracle
do you leave a miracle off to school
do you yell at a miracle
do you ignore a miracle
do you punish a miracle
oh eeeks I say
very eeeks
I wish this whole thing could go

Easilier (Ease-a-lee-er).

We laughed, together
I have given him the gift of me
and he has accepted it.

There are other gifts I will come
sacred, that he will reject
as is his human right
and I will be standing
flat footed with everything
I have to offer
and he will turn away
and I will be crushed

And all will be right.

But I have had a gift accepted
and that means our hearts beat
together for always
no matter the rejection
and that’s a lovely
a completely foundational gift.

And I know how I did it.
And it’s like my entire life
was meant for that moment.

The Father Breath

The silence of the mountains
is not silence at all.
It is the patient breath of life
It is the father breath
the foundation breath
to which we can always
discover or return.

If even you hear it once
you will feel it
and it will settle into you
as it’s meant to
and inhabit you.

The breath of the father
is in the mountains vast
steep and alone
he stays as all things
he does not wait
but he is glad you are
with him.

Like forgotten children
or forgotten dreams
once returned
you realize again
you have everything you need
and more than you
could want.

These mountains.
This father’s breath,
they do call out to all,
do not be frail,
come to me
and live in me
and remember yourself
with me.


Boys talk about fighting.
Men fight.
A real man will not hurt another person
without having been hurt himself
and when he does hurt another
he will recognize the hurt he’s caused himself
and his family
and the world
and he will carry the hurt with him


Boys talk about fighting
and nobility
and honor
as if they go together
rather than
being a tiny trickle
in a great ocean.

Honor is not angry
nobility is not strong
I’ve learned how to recognize
the boys,
as I’ve grown up myself
and left my boy, to walk with me

Always a reminder and playmate,
Seldom the leader.

Boys, you boys, you silly boys,
there is nothing wrong with boys
the only problem is the monster
who strangles the boy
with the noose of his father.

Boys will be boys.
There is no escape,
because they must.
The only question is
who will step in,
not to proclaim boyhood
and point,
but to demonstrate manhood,
so the boys can find
the only way,


You Are Different

Someone is planning for war.
Someone who thinks
it’s the best option.
Someone is planning to send
children to kill children.
Someone is planning on
a justification so complete
as to make those giving everything
feel as if they haven’t done enough
it’s like concrete, our ideals

We have been so completely
trained in our indolence
and prefer the comfort
that our concretized ideas
and we don’t ask ourselves
what our shelter
is actually providing.

The weak minded
gloat over what they
call victory,
while the cowardly

Don’t mistake,
we are all weak minded
and cowardly.

Like children.

Except for you.
You are different.

And I Am With Him

There is a boy,
and he is as real
as rain
as water falling
down mountains,
he is real.

I look at him
he looks at me
he looks to me
he looks for answers
at first I don’t think I have them
any of them
at first and forever
I forget that I am him
I forget that I am alive
I forget I am a human
on this earth
with this most gracious life
most vibrant life
most awake life
most joyful life

I forget,

and I am
and have,
tricked myself
into believing I have
no answer
into believing
I am at a loss in the world
for my way
I am tricked
and I trick myself
into believing that
I am not a king
a queen
a god
an earthworm
a boy
a man
a seagull
a chickadee
a song

There is a boy
he is real,
as real as rain
as water falling down mountains.

I remember
and I am with him
and there are no answers.

And I am with him.

Where Love Lives

I said NO to my son

With full meaning

And commitment

And love,

Not for him,

For me and for life,

And so for him.

I didn’t help him

And so I helped him the most.

He only understood the feeling

Of not being helped

He did not understand the lesson

And that doesn’t matter

Because I did

And that’s my job

His job is to be upset

And to not understand

My job is to say no because

I love myself

And want to teach him

How that exists.



And so I feel the pain


I feel the pain of my son

Feeling his pain

Feeling un helped

Feeling confused

I feel the pain of my own

Contradictions and


I feel the pain of his pain

And I do nothing

To relieve it

But also I do nothing

To make it greater

I am there with him

As me

As observer

And protector

And I am not deterred

From the lesson by his pain

And I am, while all of this

Is happening

In love.

Mother’s Rage

Why do you argue with your boys?
why do you insist they argue with you?

Let the little ones lie
let them be their imperfect selves,
it might be good for you to see
the reality,
they are you
and no amount of arguing
will change it.

Why do Mothers have so much trouble
with their boys
And blame it
on their boys
As if the boys are not paintings
they, themselves, have created.

Every stroke, every color, every texture
is from the artist
the painting belongs to the artist
and the artist raging
against their own brush strokes
is insanity

In our world today
it’s sanctioned insanity
allowed, encouraged to be written about
and complained about
and argued about.

A more honest approach would be
to rage in a dark room against yourself
but maybe there’s too much of that already
and so the mothers choose
to rage at their creations
because it feels better for them.

Mothers Rage At Their Creations!

Pressing The Grapes 3.7

Pressing the Grapes.
I hope you are moved…




Beauty and Humanity

— Damon Brink (@damonswhirled) March 7, 2019


I’m wary of love.
Always hiding around corners
patient, patient
Always feeling so, so,
you know…


I’m not quite sure of this life stuff.
you know what I mean?
It’s just suffering at the heart
All in between.

I shamed my son today,
like an arrow to my chest
I didn’t even know
I was so caught up
in the best.
It’s the worse thing I’ve ever done
And still I fear I won’t atone,
this is the darkness,
This is alone.

And in usual I would befall,
To months and years of terror
where shame and pride
they mock me
so completely with out error.

But nigh,
this night upon me,
Where the winds have buffed the clouds
And the Mountains reach above
And the moon, she shines aloud.
Not this night, around me
it won’t be that way tonight
Because, my son
the son of myself
I’ve not yet begun to fight
But only just now,
I recognized
The bright and shining light
That is bigger than all you think
and imagine
but it’s dark as night!

Or through the dark,
I should rightly say
From the dusking to the the light
when pink sunlight kissed the mount
on a bright and shining morn,
There was a freshness to the day
at the same time,
Time to mourn.

Time to mourn
Is vital. It’s the only thing that’s real,
Or at least that you can be sure of,
that and how you heal.
because despite all that you don’t believe
and all you say you do
and between all the bullshit printed
in ink and in your brain
It’s a wonder, no a certainty
that you’ll go insane.

And that’s just what has happened,
And that’s just what we’ll do,
If people don’t start waking up
And seeing what to do.
And some are there but most are not
and none have any clue.

But what’s that matter,
when you’ve shamed your son,
and killed a part of you?

Toxic Masculinity Does Not Exist, Part 452

Part 452 in the ongoing series of debunkment.

And before starting, a disclaimer: Looking for men and women who want to put down their assumptions, and deal with the painful reality that is the present. This means examining your own objections, feelings and actions before you point out others. I call these people Allies. We need more Allies.

It doesn’t matter what other people are saying. It doesn’t matter what you’re seeing on TV or in the latest video or social media post (including this one), all that matters is that you want to strive for a better relationship with the opposite sex (of yourself). Basically we’re all at least 49% gay so if you’re at war with the opposite sex, you’re at war with yourself. That’s kind of a joke…but maybe you get my point.

Why should you listen to me about it anyway? Only because I have a penis and have been socialized and biologized as if I have a penis, so I’m an authority on that. I’m an authority on what it means to be socialized and biologized with a penis. This means if there’s anyone out there who hasn’t been Socialized or Biologized with a penis and they’d like to know about it, I’m a good person to ask. The other option is make up a story that you know what it’s like to have a penis and then to take a bunch of actions based on that made up story.

For me, I want to improve the relationship with myself and others, specifically the female. I want there to be less violence in the world and so I want there to be less violence in me, first. I’m really looking for females and males who want this to and are willing to engage around a set of principles that would allow exploration foremost and that would make judgement and justification silly remnants of immaturity.

If you’re a male and you’re bored and frustrated with the same female drive, cliched narrative, then it means you’re going to have to change some things, you’re going to have to step out of the comfort zone of withdrawing yourself in order to avoid the responsibility of disagreement and of owning your own virtue and value. I’ve found it helps to have other men around you to help with this. Males are so used to being a lone and so comfortable with it that we need help to come back to ourselves and begin the process of balancing out the narrative. Because honestly guys, the female narrative is not wrong, but it’s not right either, it’s just half the story masquerading as the full story because we haven’t been willing to take the pain of confronting the female process with compassion and in a masculine way. We’ve contributed to this vacuum of masculinity and it’s time to stop.

If you’re a female the first thing is to get honest. Do you actually want things to change for boys and girls, or just for girls. Do you actually want things to get better for men and women, or just for women. If you’re answer is just or primarily for girls and women, then I challenge you to figure out how that is a humane thing. I understand if what you want is to get back at all the men who have hurt you, but revenge (justified or not) is not a useful method for improving relationships. If you do get honest, you’re going to see that there’s only one way to improvement, and that’s going internal and finding what’s underneath all that rage. From my perspective this requires trust, trust that if you get in touch with and expose the little girl of you that’s been hurt, that’s been let down, you’re not going to be punished for it. There’s very few things men can actually offer women (and vis-a-versa) but one of them (and it can only be offered by a man, not a boy) is the gentle guidance and promise that your little girl is safe with us. There is no hope if women aren’t willing to get into that space to contemplate and act.

And guys…did you hear me…there is no hope if we don’t do whatever is necessary to help women get into that space. When women are in their vulnerability, in their innocence and are encouraged rather than threatened, they can apply their wisdom and vision and they can help men to heal. Without vulnerable women you will not have healthy men.

So not sure how this is all going to come across to you, the reader but if you’re reaction is angry…consider it a gift and go find out who you really are. I’m going to do that after I go beat my dog!


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