Under seige
under water
but I hear that I deserve it

And so it fits
my guilt, it sits
Eager for the brunt of it

But there is a glimmer
brighter than before
but still small,
and fragile like a flower.

There is a world
and I feel assaulted
from all sides
and from those I love

I’ve been practicing
to find myself
since I learned
of my true fate

And I wish I could do better
in the face of all the hate
but I’m grateful that I see it
especially in me
I’m grateful,
though not free of it
it’s not how I want to be.

And my single minded focus
will make it lonely in the end
So I listen to the Dalai Lama
and become my own best friend.

I’m told that I’m controlling
I’m told I am the key
to other people’s freedom
I’m told that without me
Their life, they would be free.

And I see how I’m the teller
of all the tales and stories
How I’m the holder of the keys
and the definer of all glories
I see how I’m not different
than what I claim to hate
I see how without me changing
I’ve stamped and sealed my fate.