What does a man do?

A man is not afraid of knowing himself but he is afraid. He is afraid of what he is capable of and, in some ways, what he has done or might do again. A man is not afraid of his fear, meaning he does not stay away from it. A man understands that fear is part of life, part of being mortal, part of being human. In this respect a man will not deny what is true and real. A man will work to integrate into his conscious life those things that are real and not be overcome or led by them. A man will lead through all the things in life and will become himself and will become a man, in the process and that process will not stop as long as he does not stop it. And no one can stop it, but himself.

So what do I do?

I seek to become a man. I seek greater things than my comfort, even as I seek my comfort. To be a man does not mean to stay away from the realities of life and of pleasure and of comfort. It means to not be lead by them.

So what is this life?

This life is about learning but not for the sake of learning. It is about learning for the sake of experience, for the sake of experience of myself, experience of myself understanding, unfolding, moving into light, passing through light back into darkness and starting again. This life is not about the opinions of people or States or Nations. It is not about the opinions of your neighbors or about the authority of laws or the pain of violence.

Agape – Love – Charity

So how does a man know what to do?

There are many things to do that have nothing to do with being or becoming a man. Most things today have nothing to do with being a man or becoming a man. If I want to know what to do, I must look towards my fear. My fear is my guidepost, my fear is the black gate behind which the horrors of Mordor brew and gather strength, if I do not storm the gate, my goodness as a human and my protection as a man (or my innocence as boy) will only protect my soul for so long until the forces of darkness are unleashed on me and the world. We are seeing this in the world today because, in general, we are afraid of our fear.

So what would I do if I wasn’t afraid of my fear?

I would lovingly express my perspective on NXIVM, Keith Raniere and the narrative that has attempted to keep people divided, angry, fearful and hateful. I would help others to do the same.

I would lovingly express my perspective on the state of our communities (Self, Family, Neighborhood, Town, State, Country, World, Universe) in relation to Covid, Government, Technology. I would help others do the same.

I would lovingly express my perspective on children, education, hope and growth. I would help others do the same.

Through it all, I seek to get face to face with myself, with you, with the world.

NXIVM, Keith Raniere and The Narrative

When I was a child, I spake as a child. When I became a man, I put away childish things

1 Cor 13:11

It is the choice, to put away childish things, that makes a man. You cannot become a man until you decide to put away childish things. The decision comes first, immediately followed by the action.

It’s childish to be afraid of your fear.

Perhaps what has happened with NXIVM and with me, and, with us all…is what must happen. I learned about this in NXIVM company SOP (Society of Protectors). Fundamentally the theory was, if it happened, it was what must have happened. The meaning, which can be hard to grasp, is that reality is important, that reality is very important, reality is more important than thought, emotion or feeling.

The reality is we are living in a place and time where there has been a narrative created around NXIVM that is not true for many people and yet drives people’s perspective. The reality is that Keith Raniere is in jail with an 120 year sentence. Clare Bronfman is in jail with a six+ year sentence. The reality is that NXIVM and all of it’s companies, technology and community has been destroyed. The reality is that there are people who have and are benefiting from the destruction.

It seems to me that there is a collective consciousness that seeks to destroy the thing we are afraid of. Maybe it’s not too far a jump to call this collective consciousness, evil. Does that make sense to you? Does it make sense personally, in your own world, the world no one else can see or know about…when you come face to face with something you are afraid of, what do you want to do? To me, as I look out into the world, I see the desire to destroy running wild and uninhibited. This desire to destroy is much more valuable, it seems, than the desire to understand or to find out. This is a primitive desire to stamp out and crush what we don’t understand and what we don’t want to understand. It is a primary motivator to remain in the darkness and to allow the darkness to remain in us, behind our black gates. It is a primitive, ape like, desire and one that is being celebrated and encouraged.

This is what I see. This is no longer “reality” but is my perception. Perception, my tool, your tool, to understand and participate in the world and in our lives.

What I see is fear of fear, fear of the unfamiliar, fear of the unknown, fear of the repulsive; not because we understand why it’s repulsive but only because we have an impulse of repulsivity and want to destroy because of it, so we do not have that impulse again. We think if we destroy the thing outside of ourself, we will destroy the feeling it inspires inside us.

We have it backwards.

Can you see it? Can you see that destroying the external world in an attempt to destroy the internal world can’t work? Can you see that the impulse to destroy lies within you, lies in your heart and soul? Can you see that no matter how hard you try, how much you try to destroy and how much you do destroy outside yourself, you will never heal what you seek to heal?

But what about Justice?

My perspective is that there are two forms of Justice. One is lower case “j” and one is upper case “J”. Lower case justice is the justice of the universe, cause and effect (if you believe it that) or just the way things are no matter what humans or animals or anything decides to do. If it happened, in a way, it’s just. Upper case Justice is a human creation. It’s a most noble creation, a most noble idea. It’s the idea based on living in and developing community. Before Justice, we couldn’t really live in community. It was the wild west, it was savagery. Another way I look at the two terms is savage justice and Civil Justice. Civil Justice is for community. Civil Justice is a step up from savage justice because it applies all of our human capabilities to apply collective rules that allow us to live, work, play and build things together. Without Civil Justice, all we have is savage justice, the justice of violence and might.

Do you relate? If you could choose, what would you choose?

My perspective is that mostly what we have today is savage justice. What happened in the NXIVM case and continues to happen with the NXIVM narrative is savage justice. Savage justice is not something I want to build but it is something I’ve been a part of building, we all have and if I want something different, I have to do something different. I want Civil Justice.

I want Civil Justice more than I want a certain result. There are un-answered questions about NXIVM, about Keith, about DOS. But there are also un-answered questions about Frank Parlato, Sarah Edmondson, Moira Penza and the people involved in the creation and perpetuation of the fraudulent narrative.

If you differentiate between savage and Civil Justice and choose Civil Justice, you have to work harder than everyone else because it’s hard work to think and it’s painful work to hold fear, anger, violence and turmoil in your heart and withhold judgement. Why? Because that’s what Civil Justice is, that’s what’s necessary. It’s necessary to withhold judgement, even when your damaged or feel damaged or hurt or in pain…it’s necessary to withhold judgement IF Civil Justice is important to you.

If Civil Justice is not important to you, if savage justice is what’s important, you have no pain of withholding to deal with. You can met out destruction to your hearts content and you will have achieved savage justice. That’s what happened in the NXIVM case. Savagery.

Well hello Savagery… I’m Damon.