Tag Archive | Transcendence

There is an Answer

What do you do with your pain?

Some make laws
others dance in the rain
some cry and tuck away
allowing the day
to go by
some sing with such pain
the music drips
and soaks your soul
some yell
and some hit
some murder
some plan
some fight
some forget
some work harder
some stand

You know you have pain…don’t you?
you know it’s there, right
underneath and down deep
underneath your habits
underneath your hate
underneath your rules
underneath your god
underneath your temper
underneath the sod
of your life
that’s grown green grass
and killed the wild flowers
that’s kept you at it
for hours and hours
and hours and hours
that’s kept you at the
grind and work
that’s kept you locked
face first in the dirt

My god.

The answers are not outside us.
The answers are not outside us.
The answers are not outside us.
The answers are not outside us.
The answers are not outside us.
The answers are not outside us.

My god.

The answers are not outside us.

Free From Right

I
don’t
want to
know what
I am doing
I want to live
and have faith
that life is good
and to put down
the burden of having
the right answer
of doing the right thing
or the wrong thing
to rest the heavy armour
of expectation
in myself
and to walk the earth
as a species of the earth
for the earth
and by the earth

If I walk this way
will things be ok
will I find my way
will the day open to me
paths that never
appeared
in fear of
the unknown
that never appeared
for fear of the unknown
that never appeared
because we never knew
to look

I want to walk in the earth
naked of the cold structure
of habit and society
I want to walk in and out of
all things
loving all things
and being good
to all things
especially those
I don’t find life affirming.

I want to be free from the right answer.
Imagine being free from the right answer.
Don’t be afraid of the fear you feel,
life is good
life is real
fear is what
infects the real
and keeps you seated within the wheel.

I want to be free from the right answer.

Level Head and Open Heart

I go forth
full of pain and
aware of the fear
lapping at my feet
but I am equipped
I am whole
and accept life
and I walk
and if white caps appear
I breath
and put that tumult
in it’s proper container
the container is heavy
and it’s a burden to carry
but I carry it
it does not carry me
and I go forther
full of pain
and aware of the fear
lapping at my feat
but I am equipped
I am whole
and accept life
and I walk

Each step taken
level and open
is a step in joy
joy is not free of pain
or fear
but, instead, full
of life
and all life has.

and I walk.

A Spark Before The Darkness

My Boy,
I’ve been thinking about this a lot. Not that it matters in regard to what will or won’t happen, but just to say the issue is important enough to me to occupy my brain for a significant portion of my waking time…

There are very few things that are important enough that you should care about them. An effective quote to demonstrate my point more precisely comes from Henry Thoreau, he says:

“There are a thousand hacking at the branches of evil to one who is striking at the root”

The point is not so much to attack evil but to recognize there is a foundation for life and living that is deeper than most everything that takes up our time these days. Politics, Climate Change, Men and Women’s issues, Guns, Immigration, Entertainment…these things are being presented to us as if they are the things that matter. The tricky part is that we (humans in general) don’t know the difference and the insidious part is that we may not care.

The reason we don’t know the difference is simple. The reason we don’t care is more complex. We don’t know the difference between what matters and what doesn’t because we don’t live in a time where it’s neccesary to know. Today we live in such advanced comfort, it’s second nature to most of us and soon, if we continue (which is questionable) it will be second nature to all of us. In another 40 years there won’t be anyone left alive in industrial nations that recall a time before the internet was invented. A good book or research paper would be “Before The Internet”. A person could fill it with examples of struggles that, by their very nature, tended towards making it necessary to understand the difference between bullshit and what really matters.

The Corona Virus has the potential to show us this difference again. It can show us (and it might) for real by living up to and surpassing the frightening expectations or is can help us see (and hopefully does) through our fearful imaginations, what is really important.

Do you know what I mean?

To put it more simply, you can either consider deeply and painfully and in fantasy what your last days of life might be like and imagine what you would feel like, what you would want to do, who you would want to be with and what would really matter to you in those final days. This is a gift that is available to us all at any time. The other option is you could actually be on your deathbed, if you’re lucky enough to have one, and your days are definitively numbered and you don’t have to imagine what’s important because you’re living it. Of course the third option is you fall off a cliff while skiing in the backcountry with your brother and you have the 3 seconds until you hit the ground 200 feet below to recognize what is really important.

My point in writing this is to offer or maybe to open the door to people who might want to take this moment in time to consider what is truly important to them, to really get to what is underneath the fear and anger and righteousness and judgement and then, if we’re granted a stay of execution this time around, perhaps transform these powerful awarenesses about what is most important into changes in the bedrock of our perspectives and more importantly changes in the behavior and actions we take.

Because right now the behavior and actions we are taking all revolve around believing what we’ve come to know as our society and our culture and our political system. We believe that “this is the way we live”. We elect people, we build businesses, we go to school, we express ourselves, we make laws, we punish people, we make money, we have sex, we relax…etc, etc, etc…this is what we do and we think this is the way.

But whether you’re falling and have 3 seconds before it all goes black, contract the Covid-19 virus and die in 3 weeks, or imagine what your death will be like…you will see that none of the things we spend our time and our precious human energy on, matter the way we thought they did.

And so we come back to the foundation. We still have to live, until we’re all gone, we still have to live together, different colors, different classes, different abilities, different beliefs…all human but different on top. And the only question we should be asking, the only question is:

What is the best way to live together in peace.

If you want to test it, you can do it in reverse. Find a hot issue of today and treat it as the answer to the question and then see how it seems to you as an answer. For an example take Climate Change…there are really two main answers, the first, make it the most important thing or don’t make it the most important thing. As answers to the question, What is the best way to live together in peace, neither answer provides. Neither answer provides because somewhere around half of the population disagrees with it. So no matter which answer you choose, neither will lead to a peaceful co-existence.

For those of you that say it’s better to survive than not and that is justification for doing away with the question, you believe in a different question as most important, peaceful co-existence is not of primary importance to you. This is a soldier mentality it seems to me, Machiavelli and all that and it seems to stem from the thing we talked about above, which is a ignorance of life, an ignore ance of life, an ignoring of life and what life truly is and what in life truly matters.

If you look softly and courageously enough you will find our human gifts and the greatest of these gifts is the recognition and action upholding the truth that there is more to life than survival. That a survival based existence, with all primary decisions and drivers geared towards ensuring our survival will most definitely lead to our collapse, our destruction and our death.

We are being faced, in these times where the fog of importance has penetrated all but the foundations, with our greatest and really our only human responsibility and battle, to transcend our bodies, to transcend our fears, to transcend our history, our lessons, our mentors and, especially, our knowledge and to rise up by touching the foundation of what truly matters in life, in this fleeting life. We have just a spark of a moment, just a burst of light before the darkness to let go into the beauty of love and peace and be home in ourselves.

We have just a spark before the darkness.

Youth Vaccination

Today I’ll look into someone’s eyes
and be honest.

These wheels keep turnin’ but they’re running out of steam

W. Zevon

We live in a snapshot
memories reach the edge
and then white framing
and then nothing
but we act like the snapshot
is everything.

We commit ourselves
and worse
those we love most
to the frame
and to the game
insane.

Can you not see through it?

Do you actually believe your life
is that important?

Do you actually believe that love
can exist in a snapshot?

Well…it can.

It does not come from it
but you can love it
like you love a steak
or a cupcake
or a victory
or nice words someone said to you.

And if you are one of the younger ones
you are being fooled
you are being loved like steak
like cupcakes
and you are being fooled
unless you are not a fool
then you cannot be fooled.

Your parents don’t know what is going on.
If you really want to see…

Look them in the eyes
be honest and watch what happens.

Disobey

When the light shines on you
do the cockroaches scurry
back to the dark places
or
do you just prefer the privacy
of the dark
to not be seen
because to be seen is to be
examined
to be examined is to be questioned
to be questioned
is to wonder if you’re worthy
to wonder if you’re worthy
is to subscribe to the human
created standard
that is unattainable
nevertheless ever present
weighing on young souls
baked in
force fed
force
fucking
fed
a dinner of compliance
of never good enough
of perform
of get a job
of work
of be good
of be good
of be good
of be good

Force fed
like calves kept in cages
our children
cannot move around
mentally
emotionally
and now,
no longer physically
We keep them in cages
so they can grow soft and pliant
and we think we are protecting them
by making them soft
by making them dependant
by making them accessories
and we have all be accessorized
and if we step out of our accessorization
we don’t know who
or what to be
not only are we screamed at
by the other purses
and scarves
and ties
and argyle socks
and pocket curchiefs
we are lost in ourselves
like stepping into a new world
where we don’t know the language
or the culture or the custom
but the fucking problem is
this is not a new world
this is not a world
unavailable
this is simply a world we were not
given access to.

And the best thing about it
It’s no one’s fault
everyone was doing the best they can
but now
NOW
that we see it
NOW
that we know
that we are not accessories
we do not have to be a certain way
act a certain way
we do not have to believe the rules
we do not have to believe authority
because now we see what a farce it’s all been
what a crock of shit it’s all been
and by “crock of shit” I mean
don’t move forward by looking for answers in the past
because we weren’t taught
and we lived how we were taught
and we weren’t taught
to go beyond our accessorized self
to become human
to express human
to throw off the chains of fear
to throw off the chains of sameness
to throw off the chains of difference
to throw off the chains
that bind us to an authority
that only cares for it’s own existence.

Throw off the mutha fucking chains.
do not believe the rules
do not believe the stories
find out for yourself
disobey.

disobey.

A 9 Year Old Learns Hate

Life is so rich
but the cream does not rise
it’s more like digging for gold
actually it’s more like
wiping the steam from the mirror
you have to make an effort
to get to the richness
and the more effort
the more richness,
as far as I can tell.

Because once you make the choice
to wipe the mirror
and see
you will then see more
than what you saw before
and you might not like
what you see
you might want the steam again
you might turn away
you might not believe your eyes.

None of it matters.
Unless you want more.
So you can always come back to that question,
if you are lost.

Do I want more?

My son told me
to my great dismay
that he didn’t really like Trump
and he should go away.

My son is nine
and some would cheer
he’s on their side
oh what a dear.

And those same some
would accept
and open doors
And he’s too young
to know about whores.

So he’d walk through
in innocence
not realizing what
The agreement’s meant.

But every door
and every hug
and every atta-boy
will leave him poor
pull out the rug
we won’t kill the boy.

A nine year old
learns hate from the world
before he learns to understand
A parent’s job
is to temper hate
so that their child, straight, can stand.

So when you face your child’s corruption
meet it with faith and sadness
this is the trial, there’s no other way
unless what you want is madness.

It should be sad, terribly so
but that’s the way it is
without hate there is not strength
to deliver the loving blow.

So you must not meet that certain hate
with certain hate yourself,
you cannot hurt the ones you hate
if what you want is wealth.

If what you want is poverty
then hate and hate away
and give in to that “good” feeling
as you cut and slash away
and teach your child to cut and slash
at those they disagree with
and teach your child
to point their finger
aiming it with your struggle.

So fight you will and fight you must
to overcome the heavy you
you were taught to hate
and now what are you to do
start by asking what’s worth more
your child’s joy
or you?

I Belong Here

I belong here.
I don’t know where I am
but I belong here.
I went down
through the terror
the screaming
the aloneness
I went through the darkness
I saw my horrible
I saw worse
I saw my innocence
sitting in a chair
crying
with a bloody knife.
I sat down with him
we didn’t talk.

I belong here.

The Beater and the Beaten

I went off on some fucking asshole
and showed him what’s what
I didn’t hold back any punches
and wielded my words to cut.

And so I cut him, into pieces
and he was deeply defeated
and it showed in his face and down
turned head
that mutha fucka sure was dead.

And as I gazed over his defeat
and scanned the horizon above the beat
and caught my breath and righteousness
I flexed my chest and blew a kiss.

And as I walked, head high, away
every step I took kept love at bay
and with each I became more lost
my righteousness has such a cost.

And in the instance of my delusion
with each step grew my confusion
something happened
I don’t want to see
that it’s me that took a bruising.

I do not want to see it
I do not want to feel it
I do not want to understand
how I lift a violent hand.

I do not want to feel
the depth of my own pain
I do not want to see my
unpuzzled true reign.

But my, my, my…
my friends
there’s only one answer
and it has no end
it’s the journey of you
a step turned in
away from the world
to where truth lives.

And in an instant you’ll be defeated
on such a level
you’ve been so mistreated
but surprise, surprise
what you’ve deleted
Is that you’re the beater
and the beaten.

My poor child, it’s only you,
my courageous one
yes, it’s true
you’re the beater
and the beaten
and you beat first
your open heart
before you begin to start
beating another
far away, out there,
you beat yourself,
you don’t know
you don’t care.

But this last beating
is your final defeat
the one you beat
could not be hidden
and as you hacked
and pounded at them
and ripped their skin
with molten words
meant to burn and corrode
and scortch
with just a pile of smoking waste
left before you, egoic haste

Something happened
and you finally faced
that all your violence and all your rage
directed at something away
is the biggest lie ever played
and played on you
(and every one of us)
that what you strike
is what you love
and what you kill
is what you want
and what you fear
is what is dear
and every time you strike with words
(or the weapon that works best for you)
you strike your heart
you strike what’s true
you strike yourself
you kill yourself
you hate yourself
you beat yourself
you are hateful to yourself.

We are not separate
no matter how hard we try
separateness is the biggest lie
you strike me
it’s you who dies
my love, my love
please open your eyes.

If You’ve Ever Loved A Child

I lived a happy life.
No matter what people
tried to make me,
I found my moments.

If you’ve ever loved a child,
you know.

If you’ve ever loved a child,
you’ve been broken.

If you’ve ever loved a child,
you’ve been reborn.

If you’ve ever loved a child
you feel the disturbance.
It’s so clear, in contrast
to purity of your relationship
to your love of your child.

You have a relationship with love,
the object, your child.
The object of your love
is your child.
The relationship to your love
is yours alone and is
pure.

Once you experience the pureness
of your love (for your child),
you can never see the world the same.
The veil is meant to be removed.
Love is meant to reign.
Life does not have to be full
of conflict and war.

You do not have to be full of
conflict and war,
unless you want to.

And this is the disturbance
you become aware as you deepen
into the purity of your relationship
to your love.
You see it everwhere,
the ripples and waves of pride
and violence
and hate
that have surfaced.

They have surfaced in the world
as they have surfaced in you
and we know have the beautiful choice
to face our hate, face our violence
as we see it for the beacon
of hope that it is.

Hope for transcendence,
hope for love,
hope for peace,
hope for freedom.

Think of your child now
and your love for them
and imagine, now, the part
of you that loves
and now,
the purity of that part of you
and of the bond between
you and love,
like coming home
and being home
at the same time.

And now,
read the news of the world,
and reveal to yourself
that the news of the world
is the news of yourself.

This is waking up.
This is the path to love.
The disturbance is a gift.

If you’ve ever loved a child,
you know.

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