To all my single friends without kids you so have to read this because you made the right decision and it’s so good that you did and that your life is awesome and I love it and want to be like you and you don’t have kids and it’s awesome!

I wonder what will happen when we all arrive at the destination that we’ve identified as primarily important.  Will it be like the scene in Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy when, with great anticipation, they climb the steps to the computer god, brimming, expecting, demanding, relieved to have finally arrived…will it be like that?  Will we know that we are about to arrive at the destination of our life and in the knowing will our suffering be just about (but not quiet) at an end?  And what if our computer god gives us our version of “42” for the answer to all questions.  (If you haven’t seen the movie you are missing out on the meaning of life…see it and be relieved).

So I’m just not sure where everyone is going and why there are so many people sitting in this coffee shop with straws and mugs and laptops like shields and friends (are they the same) and books and papers…and coffee.  Why do we build so many buildings?  What happens when we build the perfect building, do we stop then, and retire?  I can’t help but feel like we are collectively squandering our gift.  I mean imagine if the masses were fed and actually had enough time to do something other than survive and imagine if they got to see what we were doing and have been doing with the resources we have…eeek.  That thought makes me want to change the world…eeek.  That thought makes me want to have a donut!

I spent all weekend as the primary care giver to my little human…and man am I tired.  It struck me hardest early evening yesterday when I wanted to do nothing but sleep, I even tried a couple times.  “Hey little buddy” I said, “It’s time to go play by yourself for a little while”.  Even though he did – the best I can hope for is 5 minutes and the damage he can do playing by himself for 5 minutes is generally not worth the catnap, even if I can get it.  And then I  began to think about Sally and how she does it, which led to thinking about single parents and then single parents of multiple kids…

Well the fact is, I think, that it doesn’t matter how people do (for the point I am about to make) only that they do it.  The point is:  This fatigue!  This state of tired-ness that permeates every bit of your being.  I’m so tired I need a nap while I’m sleeping.  And the only thing that can possibly change this (If I want to stay lovingly connected to my little human) will be his 19th birthday (or maybe his 16th if he’s ready) and even then I will always have the mental energy expenditure of my creation spinning and making waves in my brain…and therefor in the world.  This, my friends, is the point.  Contrary to those – “To all my single friends, you have to see this video because it’s just amazing about how not having kids is the best thing and you made the right decision and aren’t you happy…” videos – having kids makes you smarter and more able to cope in the world because of the tremendous amount of brain energy you spend while still expending the normal amount of brain energy that you did when you were childless.

There is no cure for the tiredness.  It will never go away – and by the time it possibly could you will be so completely rewired that it wouldn’t matter.  And so, despite my fighting and my desperate attempts at 5 minute naps and my deep suffering about how tired I am, I am proud to say that I despise the “Go The Fuck To Sleep” Book on such a primal level.  It is the worst of us, simply.  The worst.  Yet i understand the motivation behind it and my message – a message – is, if you’re a parent…Welcome to the struggle, don’t fool yourself, don’t attempt to change it.  

Welcome to the struggle!