It’s now more than 2 weeks in
I haven’t made a sale yet. And last night I cried by myself as I watched “We were soldiers” at the atrocities of our world and wondered what it meant to sell trivia. And I wondered at my self protecting comfort mechanism that found it felt good to feel and felt good to imagine a world where chaos made the selling of trivia or of the trivial obsolete. It seems my mind is so good at creating comfort in the body, is it my mind that directs that choice. The choice that tells me if the world exploded in chaos and open fighting and the economy stopped and all the pre-tense and self created necessity that’s really just paper mache – if all of it went up in flames – my mind tells me I would be better off. I’ve written about it before, the yearning for the bomb, searching the horizon for the mushroom cloud, expecting it, wanting it.
Drop the pretense.
So what is the pretense, what needs to be dropped?
It’s like the only thing that may really need to change is the honesty. Humanity has been it’s best. It cannot be better but it can be more honest. We can call things by their true name. The pretense is that we are doing a good job. The pretense is that we cannot or should not strive for much more. The pretense that needs to be dropped is the illusion of our self-imposed limitations.