I Don’t Agree. I Agree.

I don’t agree.
It’s ok.
I’m just learning that this is ok.
It has nothing to do with caring about you.
-unless I make it, which I have often done-
I simply don’t agree.

I feel the pain more deeply because I care
and because I care to feel the pain,
not the prideful pain, called anger,
but the pain under the pride
called truth.

I’ve never really seen you
I’ve never really seen myself
What’s one to do, in these cases, but agree
and ignore the far away, persistent protests
of my knowing.

The funny thing about knowing is that it’s patient
it will be patient to death
and through death to the ultimate patience.
Knowing doesn’t care about anything
and it doesn’t matter to knowing
that you follow it or are a contrarian to yourself.

But imagine the efficiency of peaceful soul
No war. No conflict. No lies.
Perhaps only questions
that can be loved like flowers
or fresh powder on a sunny day.

I don’t agree.
And I’m sorry for pretending,
in my silence and reclusion,
that I did.
I have been a fraud to myself
and let you down.
But I am also a lion
I have found my lion soul
where it’s always been,
at the bottom,
under my agreement.

I can help you better now

If you agree.