The Joyous Puzzle

He didn’t know why people were so afraid
he thought maybe he was missing something
maybe he was supposed to be afraid
maybe he was lying to himself
maybe he didn’t know how afraid
he really was

But if he was afraid he didn’t know it
and maybe that’s the same thing
as not being afraid

The thing was
it’s not like he never felt fear
he felt fear a lot

It was more that he also considered death
a lot
and when it came, the consideration
it came like death, in a way,
even the realization of death
even the consideration of death
is like death
fantasy dies
a part of him died
when he considered death so deeply

Had he mourned that death?
he didn’t think so

He did know why people were so afraid
they were hanging on
white knuckled
clawing and hugging to death
like lenny and the rabbit
their lives
their kids
their lovers
their own hearts
hugging to death their own hearts
so they could save themselves from death.

Oh what a world
and joyous puzzle.