The real tragedy of Junior Seau

It’s hard not to think about life these days. Everywhere I turn I meet animals, living things; the earth is waking up.

Today I’m not sure if it’s possible to verify anything unless you’re present to experience it yourself.  I try to refrain from “knowing” unless I happen to be there and even then I sometimes wonder “if that really happened”. So when I say that Junior Seau killed himself I say it without any first-hand experience of his particular circumstance.

What would it be like, that single second before you pull the trigger; the moment which you actually begin to act on the decision you’ve been agonizing over.

If Seau was happy with his life isn’t it safe to assume he wouldn’t have ended it?  Suicide by gun is not something that simply happens one day, it’s the result of much thought, much ebbing and flowing of emotions and experiences taking years, maybe decades.  Junior Seau obviously didn’t show the world what was going on underneath, what we all saw and wanted to see was only a reflection of the real person, the person that put a gun to his chest and pulled the trigger. Who was that person, that’s what I want to know. Who was that Junior Seau.

What’s troubling for me and the reason I chose to write about the reaction to his death is the fact that people want to remember the reflection.  No one wants to remember the boy who became the person who’s name was Junior Seau. This is an example of the tragedy of our human lives. We seldom look at what’s real, even when what’s fake destroys itself completely.

I am sorry for Junior’s pain and I am sorry for the pain and confusion of those that knew and loved him. But I won’t honor his life by remembering what a great guy or what a great athlete or what a great hero or what a great restauranteur or what a great dad or what a great son or what a great anything he was. Because, in a sense, he wasn’t. And by honoring those things in him, the things we all wanted him to be, needed him to be, we are honoring the reasons (or at least part of the reasons) he killed himself. We are upholding the lies we tell ourselves and our children, that happiness and joy can masquerade as something else.

Who is it that will be missed? It seems like it’s the same Junior Seau who couldn’t stand to be alive anymore.  Are we wrong? Could we be wrong about a boy who only wants love and comfort (as we all do when we start out) and finds, instead, athletic achievement and worship? Are we wrong to think having it all, money, “love”, fame, personality, good-guy-ness is the key to being happy?

Obviously we are.

Junior Seau and others who choose the same path are nothing like who and what we think.  The sooner we stop celebrating the reflections the sooner we will begin to recognize our own humanity and discover that our search to heal what hurts on the inside can never be won on the outside.  And the sooner we destroy that myth the sooner our children will realize that it’s ok to fail, it’s ok to feel pain, it’s ok to be vulnerable which, as an effect, will produce adults that understand that this life, alone, is the most precious gift we could ever find.

Our children need us to celebrate truth in life, not achievment after death.  Junior Seau was not a hero. He was not an inspiration, at least not in the way that everyone wishes and wants him to be. He was a deeply, deeply troubled person and human who never learned how precious he was and who never found anyone amidst his thousands, perhaps millions of fans and “friends” who could help him release what finally took a bullet hole to let out.

It’s ok to remember and it’s necessary to mourn but the real tragedy of Junior Seau is that we are not being honest with ourselves and each other about who he was and who we are.

Tags: , , , , , , ,

2 responses to “The real tragedy of Junior Seau”

  1. Pat says :

    The way we “know” others is by their reflection. This article is based on it. Would it be written if he didn’t commit suicide? I can’t get under your skin and truly know you or vice versa. It is sad that we don’t seperate ourselves from the reflection we put out into the world. With that said, I don’t see a problem with honoring anothers’ achievements in life.


  2. Damon says :

    Whoa it’s been a while…Bad Blogger Damon BAD BAD! Ok punishment done – good!

    Yes Pat!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

My Serene Words

Seeking Solace in the Horizon & Beyond


Wellness • Poetry • Life

The Wild Heart of Life

Creative Nonfiction & Poetry

Wild Like the Flowers

Rhymes and Reasons

Inner Peace

True wealth is the wealth of the soul

Subdued Flamboyance

Poetry by Dr. Abhinav Majumder

Life...Take 2!

I hope that someone sees this page and decides not to give up...



Climbing, Outdoors, Life!

Be Inspired..!!

Listen to your inner has all the answers..


Because we’re all recovering from something.

Elan Mudrow


Bitter Gertrude

Blogging about Culture, Equity, and the Arts since 2013


Critical Dharma for Thinking Minds /Milk Tea Alliance

Random Stories & Beyond

by Yashasvi Shailly

Dirty Sci-Fi Buddha

Musings and books from a grunty overthinker

Josep Goded

Seeking Truth

Happily Lover

Happily Ever After


:to put to death (as by hanging) by mob action without legal approval or permission

%d bloggers like this: